Back To Life (ish)

Good Morning!  It’s a Monday.  Slept for eleven hours from Saturday to Sunday, which means I only sleep six the following night.  So, I just made breakfast, pounding soda, and I just felt the need to write.  Don’t know why, just something needs to come out to play!

I forgot to mention, my see you next Tuesday/Cuntasaurus Rex of a neighbor was blasting Pink Floyd’s, “Lunatic is on the Grass” song after I got out of the View before partial.  I punched the wall, cuz I figured it would have been better than her throat.  So, yeah, Love thy Neighbor, not.  I’ve said loud enough so she can hear me- we share a wall, yes, it sucks-that if she was bleeding out, I’d call 911, but go about my business.  Mom was like, “That’s not good”, or right or fair or some such horse shit, and I said, “She wouldn’t do the same for me.”  So, turnabout is fair play.  I think she’s back to going to church and shit like that.  That’s her pattern.  She’ll screw half the county, then when she gets her ass handed to her, she buttons up and tries to repent or some such bullshit.  Bless her, change me.  I can’t wait till she leaves.  Even my cat growls at her.

Speaking of cats, I got my baby back.  Yes, last Tuesday, when my folks went up North to help my Aunt, I absconded with Grover.  So, my baby is back.  Siouxsie ain’t having none of it, but I just let them sort it out and try to give equal time etc. to both paw-ties.  I’m very happy to have my little bub back.  My sponsor helped me move him.  I still have to get his cat condo, but he’s got his, “Wheel of Death” toy and a big ol bag of catnip.  So he’s happy.  Siouxsie is not, and she may never be, but it’s getting better.  Good days and bad days.

We are going to Artprize today.  I need to find a piece of Art that inspires a design in me and take a picture or card of the expo piece, and then sketch out my design for Wednesday’s class.  I have color squares to finish painting, another assignment I have to finish/revamp, and study for our quiz/test on Wednesday.  Since our career presentation is due the 19th, I have to step up my game x 50, for that little extravaganza.  But, I finally love what I am in school for.  She’s a great professor.  Her passion for design is really inspiring.  I’m thinking of easy careers for me to go into after I do this stint of school.  Something where I am self-employed, can make and design my own hours, flexible schedule, but the insurance!  Pre-existing conditions, I don’t know.  But I would really like a life of something again.  I’d really like to be self-sufficient.  But, one day at a time, that’s how you build and ensure a successful future.  Or, so I have found.

I finally found my niche for volunteering/service work.  I’m so grateful.  It’s anonymous, so I can’t get into it, but let’s just say, I’m very happy with the direction it is going in.

Let’s see, what else…My mom and I cleaned the snot out of my bedroom that I rarely sleep in yesterday.  Washed walls, floors, surfaces, redecorated, smudged, laid down a protective, positive energy barrier between the shared wall with my bitch of a neighbor, and finally!  After living here for six years, I put up two of the most meaningful pieces of art that I have been hankering to put up on a wall.  I finally feel like the house is moving, you know, like the energy is starting to flow.  Hallelu!

I elected not to go to my class reunion this year.  First of all, the official reunion is going to be hosted in a Dave and Buster’s on the East side, along with a private room and a cash bar and a midnight champagne toast.  The night before, there will be a Homecoming football game with an, “afterglow”, at the local drinking hole/bowling alley.  Now, I did a few people’s fair share of drinking at that bowling alley.  There was never an afterglow for me, just a ton of regret. I couldn’t afford the official reunion with a hotel room.  So, I opted to stay at a local friend’s house, which she had graciously opened to me, and has graciously kept open for me, and the football game for $1000, Alex.  Then, the bowling alley decision was made Saturday night/Sunday morning.  I was pissed.  Can’t go, because after the service work I discovered Saturday, that would be a huge step/leap back for me.  And my class likes to party.  Our five year reunion?  Was a Fifth- even the invitation to the reunion was in the shape of a fifth.  No.  It’s not that I don’t want to, it’s that I can’t.  I’m not jeopardizing my sobriety and serenity.  That’s a deal breaker.

So, yeah, that has happened all this past week.  Went over the new map last Wednesday with Katy.  All my parts are all connected to me, I am very large on the map, and three of them are right out in front.  So, we have work to do.  Both Katy and my sponsor will be gone in two weeks time.  Just the right time for the one year anniversary of Dave’s death (the 8th), and the 8 year anniversary I tested positive for HIV (18th).  So that period might be difficult, but as long as I am mindful and diligent, I think I have half a shot of making it through this time period.

Well, that’s about all I can think of for now.  Hopefully, with some time managemnt and getting back on my ADHD med, at a lower dose, I might actually be able to finish projects, instead of leaving them hanging and half done.  What do you know?!

So, until next time…

 

 

 

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s