Finding the perfect level to type on in bed is muy difficult. What’s up with this font? Freakin sucks. Duh. HTML. Get out of the hospital/spa much, Zu? Jesus.
So, yeah, finally got to try Lyrica. It tore me up from the floor up, yo. I got all suicidal and fatalistic and I wound up at the Spa. Then I got hit with the crud, and when you are, “compromised”, you are more susceptible to any cold, or flu, or disease not covered by my immunizations I have to get every year etc.
So, I’m lying in the mental hospital (Spa), feeling better cuz the Lyrica is out of my system, but, I’m sick as a dog. I’m all whacked out. Can’t get out, had to have a chest X-ray to make sure it hadn’t turned into Pneumonia. Spelled that right the first time. Yuuuup. Wut? So, I was released into the wild yesterday. Fell asleep at 7:30 pm, woke up at ten p.m. Have been cat napping/lizard medicine ever since. I go to Partial hospitalization, day programming at the Spa today. I hope I can make it. I’m fucking tired and sick and shit ass dirty feeling. Woof.
There was a good group of people at the spa. There was some kind of split yesterday. I felt normal, you know? Balanced, healthy? No one would sit with me until our specific wolf pack came to sit down. Everybody else at the middle table. The past six years has been more like a high school experience, from which I was spared, I did not have. And we are all over twenty. It’s bullshit. Really petty at the Spa and in the program. We’re all in this together, man! Come on! Don’t segregate, integrate. Be a uniter and not a divider.
I told one of the Social Workers about the website and my ideas and goals I have for this website. She asked me if I was getting paid for this stuff. No. It’s my passion. This blog is about mental health recovery on a meta (?) scale. Specifically, about DID recovery. Which, like my other program of recovery, re:alcohol and drugs, is going to be a work in progress. The only static thing in life, ironically enough, is change. Because we are usually matriculating, this blog etc. will continue to blossom and grow and stomp out the stigma.
That’s like, one of my goals for this project. It’s really important to me that my “deficits” are not treated as “deficits”, but handled appropriately. Which is, in and of itself, difficult. Because even though we are all human, we are all different. I like toast without butter. Maybe you like toast with butter and jam or just one or the either or fucking olives! Okay, keep following me here, this will go somewhere, but reasonable accomendations(SP) need to be made for these hairline differences. Or it’s gonna be a clusterfuck. Oh, sometimes I swear like a trucker, that’s Rocky. He is one of my parts, and he’s tough. Just like Sly was back in the day. Riddle me this Batman: why is Chuck Norris a bad ass, but the likes of John Wayne, Steve McQueen, Paul Newman, Bruce Lee and Jackie Chan, do not receive the credit they deserve? I just don’t get it. Kinda like how mental illness has a horrid wrap, but Diabetes, Stroke, heart problems, things that can be prevented. Things you are Not born with, or are born with, i.e. MS, do not get the same street cred and treatment with dignity and respect they deserve. I don’t even know if this is making sense. I think I’m finally tired…she says at 4:36 am.
Time fir a catnap/. Have a great Monday and think about those invisible disabilities. I mean, my brain is in a wheelchair. Eventually, it wears you down to the point where your cognitive processes get all screwed up as well. Okay, enough brain wheeling. KEESES!!!!!